The Power of Association

By Jill Koenig
Author, Coach, Motivational Speaker

One topic related to Goal Achievement I cannot stress enough involves the power of association. When people get stuck and come to me for solutions, one of the first questions I ask is, "Who are you hanging around?"

To break it down to it's most basic form, the people you are associating with are either building you up (encouraging and supportive) or dragging you down (discouraging you, non supportive). I know it sounds so brutal, but it's true. There are some people who are so doggone supportive, they leave you feeling like you can do anything. Their belief in you instantly propels you to higher levels. Then there are other people who are so blinded by their own fears, limiting beliefs and lack of direction, that over time, they rub off on you... in a toxic or negative way. They discourage you because they lack their own courage. Sometimes this is painfully obvious and sometimes this is subtle.

This does not mean you should abandon your friendships, rather become conscious and selective about where you are investing your time and energy and with whom. I have lifelong friends whom I love dearly, but I feel drained whenever I am around them. They seem to experience the same problems that cycle over and over in their life and they never seem to take responsibility or seek solutions in their own behavior or choices. They don't read, they don't listen to self-improvement programs or take action to change their circumstances. They gradually nudge you off course with their negativity. With those people, I learned to have limited associations. I am able to stay connected but without the negative effects.

I recently reviewed a biography about Thomas Edison. Thomas Edison hung around other inventors for most of his life, other visionary, highly focused achievers. At the end of his life, he was hanging out with the likes of Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone. These three pioneers were considered to be the top leaders of American industry at that time. They worked and vacationed together and Ford even purchased a home right next to Edison in FL, where Edison finished out his life, tinkering away at his home-based research lab.

Ford, Firestone and Edison had fun parties, including marathon dances with other leaders and their families, and even went camping for weeks at a time together in the mountains of the north east US often bringing others with them, including President Harding and President Coolidge.

Can you imagine what it would be like to hang out with people like that? Imagine the masterminding and brainstorming sessions they shared.

To become more successful, you've got to get around more successful people. This is where you will form many new alliances with other like-minded, big thinkers. One idea, one suggestion or one introduction to a new associate can change your entire life. Find out where goal oriented people hang out and get there. One such event is my upcoming Goal Bootcamp. Many entrepreneurs' missing link will be in the room during that event. The room will be full of people who have the solutions to your growth, and you will hold the solution to someone else's growth. So when it is announced make certain you are there. (be sure you are subscribed to the Goal Guru newsletter list)

You cannot afford to spend time with blamers and complainers. I'm telling you, it will rub off on you. Slowly but surely, if you tolerate such behavior, it will become you.

You become like the people you hang around.

To get around encouraging people, become an encouraging person. Work on yourself daily. Work on your goals daily. Instead of focusing on what you can get, focus on what you can give to every person in every situation. If you can contribute value to others' goals, chances are they'll be likely to contribute to your goals. Leaders hang around leaders.

If you want to stay focused on your goals, seek out and hang out with others who have their own.

Get around people who force you to grow. Get around people who challenge you. Get around people who work on their own personal development. Get around people who encourage you to work on yourself. Get around people who encourage you to stretch. Get around people who cause you to be a better person. Get around positive people.

Take an objective look at the people you are spending time with. Ask yourself, who are you hanging around? Are your current associations aligned with who you want to become?

Who do you want to get around? Who are you becoming? What changes will you need to make to create these opportunities to meet and connect with the kind of people you can synergize with in work and play? And then do it. You will attract amazing, goal oriented leaders into your life.

Live Your Dreams,

Jill Koenig

http://www.GoalGuru.com